Parenting Resources and Family Life Education

Baby Wearing: learning the ropes

2008-04-29T08:50:00.003-04:00

When you start to wear your baby for the first time, you may have a lot of worries. What follows is a list of thoughts and ideas to help make your baby wearing experience better.

A good time to start trying is when your baby is sleepy.

Once you get your baby in the carrier, start moving. Take a walk.

If your baby doesn't like it, s/he will let you know it! They will start to squirm and cry. Your baby really doesn't mind being all squished up

Keep trying. Sometimes it takes a few tries before you and your baby get the hang of it.

Find an experienced baby wearer, and talk with them about their tricks. Watch and see how they do it. Try attending a local Baby Wearer meeting.

Check out the help from The Baby Wearer. They have wonderful resources to help you fix problems you may be having. They have step by step pictures, videos, and wonderful forums for you to ask questions on.

Have fun baby wearing!

Baby Wearing: what types of carriers?

2008-04-29T07:49:00.003-04:00

I began "wearing" my babies almost ten years ago. The first carrier I ever tried was the OTSBH. I checked it out of a lending library that my lactation consultant had. I was in school at the time, and it became a life saver as I walked the two miles to school and sat in on my class with my newborn son. I soon purchased my own sling, but I choose a Mayawrap. The padding of the OTSBH made me sweat a little too much. My son was a big child, so having this sling was so helpful. There were not a lot of people around using baby carriers, so I stuck out quite a bit with my bright green and blue Maya, but there was no way I was going without it!

My Mayawrap got me through three babies, when I finally gave it to a good friend who had given birth to her fist child. During this time, as "new" baby carriers were being developed and marketed, I experimented with many of them. I can tie a baby on with most anything, and have often just used my coat in a pinch. My favorite carriers are the ones that are the least complicated, but versatile and comfortable. If you can only get one carrier choose between a ring sling or a structured carrier like an Ergo. I recommend that you have a few different types on hand, as you will use them for different things.

Personally, I have found that the structured carriers are my favorite. Once your baby can hold their heads up well (and even before with certain precautions), these carriers are the most convenient and comfortable of them all. I prefer a non-fussy one, like the YAMO (sadly you cannot purchase them in the US anymore), but there are other options available, like the patapum, ergo, and beco.

Next in line would come the ring slings. There are so many beautiful slings available today. I am partial to the unpadded Mayawraps though. They were the first of their kind, and they are of exceptional quality. I have tried making a few of my own ring slings, and I have never quite been able to reproduce the comfort and quality of a purchased sling. If your sewing skills are excellent, you should be able to make a custom carrier for a very good price.

Third, I like pouch style carriers and wraps. Pouches are the easiest to use, as you stick the baby in and go. The only issue you face with them is you will need two sizes to get a proper fit if you get a non-adjustable one, and if you get an adjustable one, the carrier becomes a little more complex (but not much). Wraps have a high learning curve, because they are one long piece of cloth that you tie around yourself and your baby. There are many different ways to do this, and you have to practice to find the one you and your baby like the best. Wraps are very, very comfortable are can be made from some beautiful fabrics. I have found them to be a little fiddly when I need to change positions to nurse, or when my child is in the 'up and down' phase. I love them for back carries when they are tiny and cannot hold their heads up very well yet, as the fabric cradles them well.

Fourth, are the Mei Tei. podegai, and other traditional fabric carriers. I have not found these to be comfortable, but other people really like them. I feel it it better to just spend the money on a soft structured carrier like the Patapum, your body will thank you for it in the long run. These are the types of carriers a lot of inexperienced baby wearing moms purchase because they do not want to pay the price for the structured carrier, and these carriers are pretty to look at. They like them, but I never actually see them using them all that much, and pretty soon, their kids just get too heavy for them to comfortable wear. I can and do wear my 30 pound toddler in my structured carrier without any problems.

Last, don't spend your money on the Baby Bjorn, or other soft front pack type carriers. They are not worth it! You will not get your money's use out of them. Don't bother with the slings and carriers that you find at most chain stores. They are marketed for the trend of baby wearing, but they are not made well, and they usually will not work well.

Enjoy wearing your baby!

Saving Money

2008-02-20T11:48:00.002-05:00

I have been getting involved in coupons. I was always under the belief that they really didn't save you much money, because you could always buy generic cheaper. Well, I have discovered that this is not always the case. Coupons can save you a lot of money. Shopping smart and changing the way you look at how you shop are key ingredients to saving a lot of money.

I discovered two blogs that got me started in coupons. Money Saving Moms, and IMommies. It has taken me about a month to start feeling the coupon love, and really get what I am doing, but I have already scored some great deals. I got $60 worth of free cheese from Target, $.10 full size toothpaste from Lowes food, a free box of cereal from Food Lion, and quite a few deals from CVS. I signed up for a reduced rate Sunday paper to get coupons, and made a few mistakes at first, but overall, there are some great deals to be had out there with a little foresight and planning.

Some other resources that I am using are the Grocery Game to save myself some time in finding good deals. I signed up for their $1 for the first 4 weeks, to see how it worked, and I have discovered that for my area, only the Kroger list is really worth paying for. Yes, it is a paid service, but I save a ton more than I spend on it. I have saved between 40-60% on groceries each time I have shopped at Kroger since using this list, and a lot of has been without coupons.

This has taken some time initially to wrap my brain around it all, and begin to organize my personal system, but it has been fun each and every time I save a bundle or get a really good deal on something.

Here are some tips that might be helpful if you want to shop the deals.
1. Use online coupons.
2. Learn your local stores' coupon policy
3. Use the internet to find the deals
4. Shop CVS and other drug stores
5. Only buy the things on your list
6. Stock up when the price is great... learn to have a stockpile and then "shop" from home as needed.
7. Don't buy what you don't need, unless it is free (you can then donate it to charity)
8. Loose brand consciousness... if an item is free would you try it?

I am still in the learning process of this all. One area I am working on is working within a budget. I am totally excited to test myself on how cheap I can be with our family's food budget. I am going to start very slow and work my way down. I plan on keeping up and even raising my standards in the quality of the food I purchase while doing this. Are you ready to try?

It's been a long, long time

2007-07-23T09:29:00.000-04:00

You thought I had forgotten about you, didn't you? No, not me. I have just had many other things taking my time away from blogging. For a little while it was blogging-smlogging. I really wasn't in to it for a bit. But, as I feel I have something valuable here, I feel it best to continue.

I have gotten myself in an amazing frugal place at present. How did this happen? I signed up to get a book for free, if I would review it on my blog. Janine Bolon of Smart Cents, has set a wonderful example of just how reachable financial Independence can be. My husband and I read this book, and realized that we knew most of what was contained within, but we had not actually put some of it to the test. This book has been far more motivating to me than I originally thought. We finally took the time to write down our financial goals. We created an excel timeline which listed each month until we turned 50. We put important info such as the ages our children will be, major purchases we know will need to take place (cars, home improvement, etc.), and debt. If we tighten our belts, we saw just how easily our financial goals could be met. This timeline is posted on our bedroom wall, and is VERY motivating. Janine Bolon's book, Money, It's Not Just For Rich People has spurred a wonderful sense of freedom and fulfillment within my husband and I. My favorite part of the book is when Joline shares her personal story. The truth of her financial freedom, compared to what others thought was happening is refreshing to hear!

Her book also helped me to start rereading a few other great financial works of art. The Complete Tightwad Gazette, and Your Money or Your Life. More to come on those soon.

Classical Education

2007-02-25T13:02:00.000-05:00

When I first discovered Classical Education, I was very excited and intrigued with it. After reading a lot about it, and coming to understand how my children are best educated, I would discourage others from using this method rigidly. Everyone wants their children to excel, and be the best they can be, but I just do not agree that it is good to fill a young child's mind with facts upon facts that they then learn to tie together as they age. This method is too harsh for young children, and just ends up recreating school at home if homeschooling, or pushes kids to do more than they are able if in school. It focuses on workbooks, and lots and lots of memorisation. It is very rigid, with a set formula for each grade (age). The Well Trained Mind is the book to read if you want to learn about it.
That said, classics (which is not just limited to books, a classic can be anything that you come back to over and over) are great teachers, and they should be used as the main source of education. Classical Education is not about classics though. It is the form of education that was supposed to have been used in the classical past, using the trivium as its foundation.

An update

2007-02-21T17:40:00.000-05:00

Well, this blog was originally created for a class I was taking, and I always meant to continue with it when the class was over. I have numerous ideas that I have started, and still intend to post at some point in time, but just exactly when that will be, I don't know. I am alive and doing well for anyone concerned ;-)

Some more Montessori info...

2007-01-22T14:49:00.000-05:00

Just a link I found today:
The Foundation Of The Human Being

Happy Newness

2007-01-03T22:06:00.000-05:00

Transitions can be a lot of things. I often find myself struggling with change, but this year, the transition and resolution planning has gone very smoothly. In the spirit of betterment, I post a picture of our fancy new organizational center. This came to be from many different sources, much discussion with my husband, and meditating on what our family really needed to take us to the next level. Let me share with you where the ideas came from, and what we have done, in hopes that you may figure out something that will work and fit with you.

I love the mommy craft bloggers out there. I got the patchwork pocket idea from Shim + Sons, and since I am not as talented as she, I kind of did my own thing out of the little scrap fabric I had on hand. Plus, we had a very large cork board already, so I made do somehow. Even though they are uneven, I was very pleased with myself for turning them out.

The pockets are actually chore pockets. The chore pocket idea was taken from A Thomas Jefferson Education Home Companion. Diann Jeppson uses this with her family, and the system really resonated with me. Basically, the top pockets represent a room or area in your home. They are filled up with tickets (blank index cards here) of all the jobs that need to be done to keep that room or area clean. We kept it fairly simple with things like sweep the floor, dust the light, etc. Each person is then given two chore pockets ('to do', and 'done'). I dole out four jobs for each person each day (whatever seems most needed). My three year old only participates as he starts to show interest, and my six year old isn't required to do all four if it seems to be stressing him out too much. My eight year old is required to do them all, and so far has done so without too much disdain. Part of the joy is that I have four chores too, and so does Dad. We can do the chores at any time during the day, but at 4pm, whatever isn't done need to be done then.

I like this system because it is VERY flexible, yet it allows us to get a lot done with very little struggle or hassle. The kids like it because they know what they have to do, and then it's done. I'm really happy, because I don't have to do it all. Little things I never thought about (like dusting the ceiling fans) are getting done. I highly recommend Diann Jeppson's book if this system intrigues you, and you want to understand it better.

Next, I bought Managers of Their Home (MOTH) to help me in scheduling my days. The middle section with the colorful strips of paper is my first attempt at using the MOTH plan. I resist schedules and have a very difficult time sticking to them, so I really worried about using this and "failing". So far, I have found this schedule to be very helpful for our family, even though we do not use it rigidly at all. It acts as a guide, a kind of ideal day, or reference point for us. There are certain parts of it that we stick to 100%, and others that we can throw out at will. Just having it posted on the board somehow relieves some tension.

The last part of this is my menu posted with what we can eat for snacks as well, so when my kids say they are hungry, we can look and see what we can snack on that day (today it was a fruit smoothie, yum!).

*MOTH is a Christian ministry, so for some people this book may conflict with personal beliefs. I also wanted to note that I do not believe in scheduling babies for eating or sleeping.

If you are waiting for more posts....

2006-12-14T15:49:00.000-05:00

My life before Christmas has been a bit hectic, so I will be taking a small blogging break before I bring you more family life education...

I have a lot in the works, so there will definitely be more to come.

Happy Holidays!

Montessori

2006-12-08T13:03:00.000-05:00

Instead of trying to tell you about Montessori education, I am going to share with you two of my favorite websites.
Michael Olaf this is a wonderful catalog that has great information about the Montessori approach. I have discovered many great ideas and tools that I have started to use in my home.

Montessori Materials this is a resource that helps you build your own Montessori materials that this educational philosophy is known for. I have used a few of their print outs, and searched their other web links for other great resources.

If you are interested at all in Montessori, I encourage you to read Maria Montessori's books. Hearing what this philosophy is all about from the person that created it will give you the best understanding of it.
Another great resource is Montessori From The Start by Paula Polk Lillard.
For older children, read Children Who are Not Yet Peaceful by Donna Goertz

Top Ten Toy lists

2006-12-05T14:07:00.000-05:00

Since the holidays are upon us, I thought I would share a fun resource. Luckybeans blog. Along these same lines, if you'd like some fun activities to do with your children, check out Kiddley.
And here are my kids favorite toys:
1. Legos
2. Play silks
3. Jr. Erector sets (we don't seem to like the metal ones)
4. Small plastic animals
5. Cars and Trucks
6. Art supplies- crayons, markers, LOTS of paper, scissors, glue, beeswax crayons, pens, pencils, stapler/staples, chenille stems, etc.
7. Blocks, especially KEVA, and large wooden rainbow
8. Army men and Nerf guns
9. Bubbles, sidewalk chalk, and dirt
10. Waldorf style dolls

Growing Child

2006-12-01T15:01:00.000-05:00

This is a wonderful resource for parents. Sign up for their free newsletter.

Charlotte Mason

2006-11-29T20:22:00.000-05:00

Charlotte Mason wrote a lengthy series of books on Education. Her philosophy of education includes forming good habits from birth, nature study, short lessons, classics, "twaddle" free books, and parental involvement. This is a popular homeschool method of education.

Here are a number of good websites that go into depth about what Charlotte Mason Education is all about.
The Charlotte Mason Research and Supply Company
The A B C s of Charlotte Mason
Simply Charlotte Mason
Penny Gardner's site
Ambleside Online a free online curriculum

A Thomas Jefferson Education

2006-11-29T13:02:00.000-05:00

This book, by Oliver DeMille is a must read. The leadership education he describes in this book is one that many parents are seeking for their children. These ideas can be implemented with many other "brands" of education. The 7 key elements to this are:

Classics not Textbooks
Mentors not Professors
Inspire not Require
Quality not Conformity
Structure Time not Content
Simplicity not Complexity
You not Them

Our Favorite Family Read Alouds

2006-11-29T12:36:00.000-05:00

One of my family's favorite activities is reading aloud together. Reading together is important to a child's education and development. If kids are too young to sit still for long periods, offer them quiet activities that they can work on while you are reading. Here are some of our family's favorites.

Little Britches Series by Ralph Moody (this is our favorite!)
Little House Books
Narnia Series
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle series
A Child's Garden of Verses
Winnie the Pooh

Educating Children

2006-11-27T10:33:00.000-05:00

There are many ideas out there on the best way to educate children. I feel it is important to review and look at the philosophies available and then pick and choose those that fit with how your family works.

For your reference, I am coming from a homeschool prospective, but each of these philosophies do have schools that follow their principles. I have my own personal beliefs about the best way to educate children, yet I am also willing to "roll with punches" as they come and change what isn't working. Parents must all choose what they feel is best for them when it comes to educating their children, whatever that may be.

In the near future some of my posts will be about different educational philosophies out there today. These ideas are important from the beginning of childhood, as many of them offer discipline ideas and parenting ideas that one can start from right away.

More on Parental Connection

2006-11-24T13:10:00.000-05:00

Beyond the day-to-day care, feeding, and maintenance of children, parents’ emotional or affective involvement in their children’s lives plays a key role in the overall well-being of their children. Children do not grow up into healthy adults in a vacuum. They need adults -- and most especially their parents -- who connect with them to reach their optimal potential. Adults other than a parent can help a child grow and develop, but it is the parent, who “loves them for free,” that will give them a safe and secure emotional base to stand on.

We have learned that parental interaction begins before birth. A fetus can hear, see, taste, and feel. Their sense of smell is acute at birth. Babies that have heard music played before birth, are calmed when they hear it after birth. A newborn recognizes his mother’s voice. These are just a few ways that parents interact, often without even knowing it.

After a baby is born, if kept physically close to her mother, much interaction can occur. That baby is wired to find her way to her mother’s breast, gaze into her eyes, and get her needs met (Klaus & Klaus, 1998). If this closeness is continued throughout the early days and months, a baby and mother pair will get to know each other and become well attuned to one another. This is a type of beneficial parental interaction that is needed and often not received in our modern Western culture.

We are used to finding ways to separate ourselves from our children, rather than finding ways to include them in our lives. Parental interaction should start as early as possible, and the first few days after birth are one of the most important times. One of the best times to educate parents, is as expectant parents. Many are seeking to figure out how they want to parent, and are more open to input from others. If parents are not reached at this stage, there are other times and other moments to help parents see just how important it is to interact with their children.

Very young children absorb a great deal of what is going on around them. They need a consistent care giver, optimally a parent, to observe, mimic, and learn from. They again need a safe base to come back to as they explore their world around them. Children learn who they are just by being with a parent most of the time. As they shadow their mom (and dad), they figure out how they fit into the world on an emotional and social level. When a young child stands on a chair beside his mother to help her make food for dinner, or to wash the dishes, he gains a sense of fulfillment, a sense of worth. He knows he is part of something; he belongs. He gets to talk with mom and stretch his verbal abilities, he learns about the work he is doing, and yet he enjoys it all. Mom gets to slow down and get to know her son better and connect with him.

As children grow, they may spend more and more time away from their parents, but they still need that safe base to return to. When a child struggles at school, she wants to come home and feel that she is still loveable, still worthwhile. Mom and Dad need to take the time to reconnect with her over and over again. Her sense of self counts on it. This does not mean that mom and dad give her a life free of struggle, but that they become the soft place to land when she falls.

Adolescents need just as much time and interaction as their younger counterparts; some say they need even more. Adolescents still need hugs and affection from their parents, these communication lines still need to be open. Adult children also need loving interaction with their parents. It never goes away. Parenting is more than food, shelter and clothing, it is a nurturing that can be found in these, yet is found in so many other needed interactions with children.

Parental emotional involvement is such a key element to raising happy and healthy children. There is not enough support in our culture for ideal parenting. Mother’s who choose to stay home with their children often do so facing isolation, lower socio-economic status, and contempt from their working female counterparts. The majority of social outlets are mind numbingly dull or not child friendly. It is no wonder many mothers reject the idea of staying home, even if they could afford to.

Our entire society suffers when children do not get the parental interaction they need. People need to see the seriousness of this, and be given real ways to make changes to help the children in their lives. It is not an easy task. I think most parents have problems giving of themselves at times, largely because loving parental involvement is not the norm. Loving parents are not scarce, what is scarce is the “know how” to put that love into action to create the type of connection children need.

Klause, M.H. & Klause, P.H. (1998). Your Amazing Newborn. Reading, Massachusetts: Perseus Books.

Sex Education

2006-11-22T13:27:00.000-05:00

Douglas Kirby has researched many different programs to find which type of program is the most effective at keeping youth from risky behaviors. I was intrigued by the information from this article. I feel we can use this information to get the type of programs we want for our children in our schools. You will need Adobe to download it.

Connection Parenting

2006-11-20T10:45:00.000-05:00

Pam Leo has written a simple handbook to help parents start to "parent through connection instead of coercion, through love instead of fear." Each chapter is written with one way to connect, such as respecting children, listening to children's feelings, and decoding children's behavior. Each chapter is then followed by journaling exercises for the parent to do, to help them be able to understand and more fully implement the ideas they are learning about. There is also a great list of resources listed in the back of the book.

When I picked up this book to read it, I was being pretty hard on myself as a parent. Through reading this book, I was able to discover that I did have some talents in parenting, and it helped me to use what I do well more, and not be quite so hard on myself for what I may not do as well as I like.

10 Tips to Save Money

2006-11-17T13:05:00.000-05:00

These are all tips that I have found very useful in saving money. Many of them are more about adjusting our additudes about spending, then about finding a good deal.

1. Plan a menu, make a grocery list, and shop at your discount grocer.
2. Don't shop for entertainment. If you need a shopping fix, go to the public library and check out a bunch of books.
3. Find a good thrift store, and shop there... this too can become a money wasting habit, so practice impulse control. You can buy most all of your clothing, furniture, and other household items, and still look good.
4. Learn to cook simple healthy meals. This not only cuts down on your food bill, but also your doctor bills.
5. Use complementary remedies at the first sign of illness. Many people find herbs, homeopathy, or just plain drinking water to stop a cold in its tracks.
6. Do you really need all the "good smelling" stuff out there, like candles, lotions, perfumes, plug-in room fresheners, sprays, etc.? Cut down on these money wasters.
7. Learn how to clean with distilled white vinegar and baking soda, and stop buying cleaning products.
8. If you have a baby, breastfeed, co-sleep (no crib to buy), and carry your baby (no stroller, swing, or baby seat needed). Cloth diapers also save a bundle of money, especially if you ask for them as shower presents. These may seem counter culture, but many very normal people raise their children this way today.
9. If you want to purchase a large or expensive item, write it down, and wait 30 days. Often when you come back to it, the "need" is no longer there to have it.
10. Challenge yourself to live creatively. See how you can make what it is you want with what you have. Learn to fix things instead of throwing them out. Remember that buying stuff does not make a person happy, but rather finding joy with what you have right now does.

Tools for Parenting

2006-11-15T09:41:00.000-05:00

As a veteran mother, and a family life education hobbyist, I have often wondered just why I have a hard time putting into practice the ideals I hold so dear. Reading about what I believe in only gets me so far. Working on parenting programs (a good one is Becky Bailey's Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline) may get me a step farther, but I always seem to fall back into poor parenting behaviors when the stress level gets high. This is extremely frustrating and disheartening for me.

I discovered Naomi Aldort's ideas, bought her book Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselvess, and found some hope. She is realistic in the fact that some behaviors and thought patterns we hold may take years to break, yet gives us the courage to keep trying. Many of Aldort's ideas are based off of Byron Katie. Byron founded The Work, which is a process of questioning your thoughts. I have found that when I use her four questions to rethink my thoughts, I am freed from emotional baggage, and able to concentrate on parenting the way I want to. If you find yourself knowing what you want to do, and unable to do it, I recommend looking into Namoi Aldort's and Byron Katie's ideas.

Money

2006-11-13T10:05:00.000-05:00

We all must earn money somehow in order to survive. Most of us marry with at least one bad money habit, usually more, and then we have to somehow blend our habits with the habits of another person. This can help in some aspects, but it can also really hurt. Finacnces can be a big source of contention in marriages and families. My husband and I are frugal hobbyists, and we enjoy reading about all the different ideas of how to save, make, and grow your money.

First, start with Dave Ramsey. If you do not read any other finacial planning book (you want Total Money Makeover), you will survive and thrive if you follow Dave's plan. We like to listen to Dave on the radio at least once a week to keep us motivated and on track. We listen over the internet for free.

Millionaire Next Door is an eye opening look into what millionaires really live like. Understanding how rich people live, helps you to live in the same way. It is written by Thomas J. Stanley, and William D. Danko, two professors who began researching millionaires, and were surprised by what they found.

The Automatic Millionaire by David Bach is another superb book. Simply, make things automatic.

We also like Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki and his Cashflow games. Although we personally take a more conservative approach than what Robert does, his ideas on money will help you think outside the box.

Feeding the Family

2006-11-10T14:02:00.000-05:00

Eating is usually a topic that becomes important to families at some point in time. I know food and eating more healthfully has been an interest of mine for a very long time! Eating can take on a whole new dimension when the family is involved. There is so much to consider. Is is okay to eat in front of the TV? Can we bring books to the table? Do we eat breakfast together as well as dinner? Are the kids allowed to complain about what they are served? Do they have to eat it? How do we carry on pleasant conversations at the dinner table with young children? Learning how to balance family members' preferences and still eat well (whether that is healthy or just tasting good!) can be another challenge as well.

Here is one article that shows the importance of having at least one family meal together. Meals Matter shares another article about the nutritional benefits of eating together as a family regularly. Iowa State Extention has helpful article on how to get the family to eat together.

There are a plethora of cookbooks, meal time organizers, menu-planners, and helpful hints out there to feed your family. If something works for you, use it! It doesn't have to be hard to fix a simple meal for your family, and get them to eat it. Here are a few of my favorite resources:

Mothering and Fathering by Tine Thevenin

2006-11-08T14:48:00.000-05:00

I read this book many years ago and found it very helpful in accepting how my husband parented differently than I did. Here are three Amazon reviews for you to read, and one opposing view written by a father.

If you are seeking to understand why your partner does things differently than you, this book may shed some light for you. This is written by the author of The Family Bed.

Parenting Support Groups

2006-11-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

Holistic Moms Network
If you are a holistic parent or are interested in learning more about natural options, then the HMN is for you!
MOMS Club
Local support groups meet during the day, are non-sectarian and welcome all at-home mothers and their children. Local chapters sponsor regular meetings with speakers and discussion topics, family parties, playgroups, baby-sitting co-ops, special activity groups, community service projects and more.
La Leche League
La Leche League International provides support and encouragement to breastfeeding mothers, as well as a wealth of information on the subject. Regular support meetings can lead to the development of friendships, as well as contacts for playgroups and baby-sitting co-ops.
API International
API advocates attachment parenting methods to develop and fulfill a child's need for trust, empathy and affection to create secure relationships.
Because I Love You
Because I Love You (BILY) is a parent support group designed to help parents whose children ( of all ages ) have behavioral problems. These problems are in the areas of, but not limited to: attitude, substance abuse, school attendance, physical/ verbal abuse, running away, and curfew.
MOPS International
MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) provides fellowship for mothers with young children, offering a nurturing, caring environment with a spiritual focus. Meetings follow the school calendar. Moms share information, have group discussion time, and learn a craft, while children play nearby with supervision.
Mothers and More
M&M is a national support and advocacy group for women who have altered their career paths in order to care for their children at home.
National Association of Mother Centers
NAMC is a non-profit umbrella organization which includes more than 50 Mother's Centers across the country. Local centers sponsor workshops, seminars, groups and special events and serve as a place where mothers can come together with other mothers and members of the professional community to explore the experience of becoming and being mothers.

Aletha Solter, her works reviewed

2006-11-03T14:48:00.000-05:00

Aletha Solter, a student of Jean Piaget, has written three books for parents that have some valuable thoughts in them. The Aware Baby, Tears and Tantrums, and Helping Young Children Flourish each share a similar message, that is sometime babies just need to cry.

I discovered her books before my third child was born, and gained another parenting tool that became very helpful to me. I have found the cry it out beliefs to be very detrimental to children, and their relationships with their parents. When an infant is left to cry, he learns that he is not heard, and he will not be responded to. He misses out on one of Erik Erikson's stages of development, that of being able to trust. So, I responded to my first two children's cries, even though it was hard at times to do so. I always tried to get them to stop crying, and if they didn't, I felt that I was doing something wrong as a parent. I felt guilty and overwhelmed at times, because I didn't know how to "help" my child.

Solter's ideas helped me to see that I still needed to respond to my children's cries (this is something I just knew instinctively I needed to do), but that sometimes, after all other needs are met, a baby (or child) still has a need to cry.

I like to relate it to myself. When I am distraught, and feel like crying, the best thing for me to do it cry and work it out that way. Often what we do to babies, is to tell them to be quiet, by bouncing, putting a pacifier in their mouth, shushing them, telling them don't have to cry, feeding them, and the list goes on and on. If I was crying, and someone told me to be quiet, or tried to get me to stop when I really needed a good cry, I would resent it. I would not like it, and if I was not allowed to cry, those emotions would be bottled up inside.

All this said, a baby should NEVER be left to cry alone. She should be held close by and you should focus your loving attention on her as she cries. Solter's books go into much greater detail. There is good information to think about in her books. The downside is that the format isn't one that most of us are used to. It is not flashy, and it is set up in a question/answer format. There may be some information that some parents do not feel fits them (as in most books), and if you find that this is the case, then by all means, do not use those ideas!

One of the best things that this book did for me, was to help me realize that crying was not a sign of me being a "bad" parent.

Parenting From The Heart by Jan Hunt

2006-11-01T14:51:00.000-05:00

This book gently leads a parent to a healthier relationship with her child/ren. It is a reference work that parents can come to again and again to receive a fulfilling boost of approval, yet it challenges us to do better. This book is one of the few books that have helped me truly understand what a child really is, namely another human being on the sojourn of life, albeit in a smaller package. It made me aware that because of that smaller package, children are so often taken advantage of. How many times have you talked about your child's faults to another adult, as your baby stands there and hears each word you say? Would you do the same to another adult? Would you want someone to do that to you? This book addresses that, and helps parents find a better way.

visit Jan Hunt's website The Natural Child Project

Creative Mothering

2006-10-28T16:19:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to share an inspiring link on being a creative mother.

Screen Time and Kids

2006-10-27T08:39:00.000-04:00

David Walsh has done research about the linkage of brain development to screen time. Here are a few of his ideas:

Experience shapes the brain.
The prefrontal cortex is the last to be wired. This is located in the front of the head sort of behind the forehead. This is where we think, plan, organize, make decisions and it is the center for impulse control.
Recent brain research shows that this particular center does not develop as soon as other parts...it refines itself about age 20.
Combine this prefrontal cortex development with what is happening with hormone development. Hormones send messages. For boys, it is testosterone flow and for girls, estrogen. Hormones act in concert with neurotransmitters. One primary neurotransmitter is seratonin.
Seratonin is a STABALIZER. Think about how hormone flow and seratonin can work together (or not) to hold a mood and actions in check.
Now- overlay this with the media revolution...

In early 1999 video games operated on 350,000 polygons/second (Nintendo 64)
Sept 1999 - 3 million polygons per second - (Sega dreamcast)
2000 - 38 mil polygons.sec (Playstation 2)
2001 125 million polygons/sec (X Box, Game Cube)
2006 - 1 Billion polygons/sec (wii, other new games)

How does this relate to kids?
- In the US- there is an average of 4 TVs per household
- 68% of school-age children have TVs in their rooms
- 25% of babies under 2 years have TV in their bedrooms
- 58% of teens have "My space" pages
- 43% of babies under 2 years watch TV regularly
- Kids take the "Wow" factor for granted.

When asked why children under 6 are allowed this sort of TV exposure,
parents say that use of TV is convenient, keeps them busy, reduces
conflict and avoids boredom.

In Korea, their technology is a few years more advanced than in the US. They already have broadband wireless throughout their country. And they have 40 government sponsored programs for video addiction.

Storytellers are powerful transmitters of culture and values. TV has become the storyteller in this generation. TV has become the transmitter of culture including values. And TV and video games promote these cultural values- easy, more, fast and fun. Media is taking over the lives of families.
TV at meals is pervasive - so there is no social interaction tom reinforce family values and relate to one another, check on each other, show caring and concern for each other.
Family members have become isolated and unconnected. Instead there is a connection to TV and to computer games or people on screens.
The impact or media on physical health is growing. Being sedentary and the amount of screen time are predictors of overweight.
There is a growing impact on sexual norms and behavior (sexually explicit music, images, etc).
We are facing new challenges with addictions, cyberbullying, privacy, and safety.

You ask - How about Baby Einstein videos?
Dr .Welsh comments that although the content may be ok, it wires the brain to screen time and screen expectation. Same for all educational videos.

The cultural values of More, Easy, Fast and Fun erodes self-discipline. Self- discipline is a huge school predictor; twice as strong as intelligence. These values weigh against values such as competence, resilience and responsibility.

These facts relate to other concerns in our society.

1/3 of American School teachers are considering leaving the teaching profession. A large part of the reason is student behavior (i.e., self-discipline).
We are severely low in qualified teachers.

Electronic entertainment is the second biggest import for the US.
So...what to make of this?

It is not the TV. It is not the computer in an of itself. It is about the relationship.
It is about parents inability to say NO. Parents indicate that their kids "have a fit" when they turn off the TV.

LimiTV, Mediawise

by Guest blogger:
Karen DeBord, Ph.D.
Professor & Extension Specialist
Child Development
North Carolina State University