As a veteran mother, and a family life education hobbyist, I have often wondered just why I have a hard time putting into practice the ideals I hold so dear. Reading about what I believe in only gets me so far. Working on parenting programs (a good one is
Becky Bailey's Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline) may get me a step farther, but I always seem to fall back into poor parenting behaviors when the stress level gets high. This is extremely frustrating and disheartening for me.
I discovered
Naomi Aldort's ideas, bought her book
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselvess, and found some hope. She is realistic in the fact that some behaviors and thought patterns we hold may take years to break, yet gives us the courage to keep trying. Many of Aldort's ideas are based off of Byron Katie. Byron founded
The Work, which is a process of questioning your thoughts. I have found that when I use her four questions to rethink my thoughts, I am freed from emotional baggage, and able to concentrate on parenting the way I want to. If you find yourself knowing what you want to do, and unable to do it, I recommend looking into Namoi Aldort's and Byron Katie's ideas.
As a veteran mother, and a family life education hobbyist, I have often wondered just why I have a hard time putting into practice the ideals I hold so dear. Reading about what I believe in only gets me so far. Working on parenting programs (a good one is Becky Bailey's Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline) may get me a step farther, but I always seem to fall back into poor parenting behaviors when the stress level gets high. This is extremely frustrating and disheartening for me.
I discovered Naomi Aldort's ideas, bought her book Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselvess, and found some hope. She is realistic in the fact that some behaviors and thought patterns we hold may take years to break, yet gives us the courage to keep trying. Many of Aldort's ideas are based off of Byron Katie. Byron founded The Work, which is a process of questioning your thoughts. I have found that when I use her four questions to rethink my thoughts, I am freed from emotional baggage, and able to concentrate on parenting the way I want to. If you find yourself knowing what you want to do, and unable to do it, I recommend looking into Namoi Aldort's and Byron Katie's ideas.
1 comment:
I've read Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, recently. Naomi Aldort's philosophy of parenting comes from a completely different place than the way I was parented, and it is difficult to imagine not trying to "get" my child to do things everyday, but to instead try to let him make most of his decisions about what and when he will do things. As I'm considering the ideas in the book, the part that most concerns me is where do I draw limits? How do I go places/make plans--or must we constantly be making "tentative" plans based on the child? What do you do when there are two (or more) children and their needs conflict, especially toddlers who are not yet fully verbal?
I love the ideas about examining and distancing yourself from your internal "mind talk" and emotional reactions. I can definitely see where that would help me. I certainly don't want my kid becoming the kind of "good kid" I was (and am!) --so desperate for approval that I never knew what I wanted. I also think there are many times where I can respond more lovingly or in a way that is more aware of my son's needs/emotions and have fewer expectations of his behavior.
--Erin H.
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