Some more Montessori info...

Just a link I found today:
The Foundation Of The Human Being

Montessori

Instead of trying to tell you about Montessori education, I am going to share with you two of my favorite websites.
Michael Olaf this is a wonderful catalog that has great information about the Montessori approach. I have discovered many great ideas and tools that I have started to use in my home.

Montessori Materials this is a resource that helps you build your own Montessori materials that this educational philosophy is known for. I have used a few of their print outs, and searched their other web links for other great resources.

If you are interested at all in Montessori, I encourage you to read Maria Montessori's books. Hearing what this philosophy is all about from the person that created it will give you the best understanding of it.
Another great resource is Montessori From The Start by Paula Polk Lillard.
For older children, read Children Who are Not Yet Peaceful by Donna Goertz

Growing Child

This is a wonderful resource for parents. Sign up for their free newsletter.

Educating Children

There are many ideas out there on the best way to educate children. I feel it is important to review and look at the philosophies available and then pick and choose those that fit with how your family works.

For your reference, I am coming from a homeschool prospective, but each of these philosophies do have schools that follow their principles. I have my own personal beliefs about the best way to educate children, yet I am also willing to "roll with punches" as they come and change what isn't working. Parents must all choose what they feel is best for them when it comes to educating their children, whatever that may be.

In the near future some of my posts will be about different educational philosophies out there today. These ideas are important from the beginning of childhood, as many of them offer discipline ideas and parenting ideas that one can start from right away.

More on Parental Connection

Beyond the day-to-day care, feeding, and maintenance of children, parents’ emotional or affective involvement in their children’s lives plays a key role in the overall well-being of their children. Children do not grow up into healthy adults in a vacuum. They need adults -- and most especially their parents -- who connect with them to reach their optimal potential. Adults other than a parent can help a child grow and develop, but it is the parent, who “loves them for free,” that will give them a safe and secure emotional base to stand on.

We have learned that parental interaction begins before birth. A fetus can hear, see, taste, and feel. Their sense of smell is acute at birth. Babies that have heard music played before birth, are calmed when they hear it after birth. A newborn recognizes his mother’s voice. These are just a few ways that parents interact, often without even knowing it.

After a baby is born, if kept physically close to her mother, much interaction can occur. That baby is wired to find her way to her mother’s breast, gaze into her eyes, and get her needs met (Klaus & Klaus, 1998). If this closeness is continued throughout the early days and months, a baby and mother pair will get to know each other and become well attuned to one another. This is a type of beneficial parental interaction that is needed and often not received in our modern Western culture.

We are used to finding ways to separate ourselves from our children, rather than finding ways to include them in our lives. Parental interaction should start as early as possible, and the first few days after birth are one of the most important times. One of the best times to educate parents, is as expectant parents. Many are seeking to figure out how they want to parent, and are more open to input from others. If parents are not reached at this stage, there are other times and other moments to help parents see just how important it is to interact with their children.

Very young children absorb a great deal of what is going on around them. They need a consistent care giver, optimally a parent, to observe, mimic, and learn from. They again need a safe base to come back to as they explore their world around them. Children learn who they are just by being with a parent most of the time. As they shadow their mom (and dad), they figure out how they fit into the world on an emotional and social level. When a young child stands on a chair beside his mother to help her make food for dinner, or to wash the dishes, he gains a sense of fulfillment, a sense of worth. He knows he is part of something; he belongs. He gets to talk with mom and stretch his verbal abilities, he learns about the work he is doing, and yet he enjoys it all. Mom gets to slow down and get to know her son better and connect with him.

As children grow, they may spend more and more time away from their parents, but they still need that safe base to return to. When a child struggles at school, she wants to come home and feel that she is still loveable, still worthwhile. Mom and Dad need to take the time to reconnect with her over and over again. Her sense of self counts on it. This does not mean that mom and dad give her a life free of struggle, but that they become the soft place to land when she falls.

Adolescents need just as much time and interaction as their younger counterparts; some say they need even more. Adolescents still need hugs and affection from their parents, these communication lines still need to be open. Adult children also need loving interaction with their parents. It never goes away. Parenting is more than food, shelter and clothing, it is a nurturing that can be found in these, yet is found in so many other needed interactions with children.

Parental emotional involvement is such a key element to raising happy and healthy children. There is not enough support in our culture for ideal parenting. Mother’s who choose to stay home with their children often do so facing isolation, lower socio-economic status, and contempt from their working female counterparts. The majority of social outlets are mind numbingly dull or not child friendly. It is no wonder many mothers reject the idea of staying home, even if they could afford to.

Our entire society suffers when children do not get the parental interaction they need. People need to see the seriousness of this, and be given real ways to make changes to help the children in their lives. It is not an easy task. I think most parents have problems giving of themselves at times, largely because loving parental involvement is not the norm. Loving parents are not scarce, what is scarce is the “know how” to put that love into action to create the type of connection children need.

Klause, M.H. & Klause, P.H. (1998). Your Amazing Newborn. Reading, Massachusetts: Perseus Books.

Aletha Solter, her works reviewed

Aletha Solter, a student of Jean Piaget, has written three books for parents that have some valuable thoughts in them. The Aware Baby, Tears and Tantrums, and Helping Young Children Flourish each share a similar message, that is sometime babies just need to cry.

I discovered her books before my third child was born, and gained another parenting tool that became very helpful to me. I have found the cry it out beliefs to be very detrimental to children, and their relationships with their parents. When an infant is left to cry, he learns that he is not heard, and he will not be responded to. He misses out on one of Erik Erikson's stages of development, that of being able to trust. So, I responded to my first two children's cries, even though it was hard at times to do so. I always tried to get them to stop crying, and if they didn't, I felt that I was doing something wrong as a parent. I felt guilty and overwhelmed at times, because I didn't know how to "help" my child.

Solter's ideas helped me to see that I still needed to respond to my children's cries (this is something I just knew instinctively I needed to do), but that sometimes, after all other needs are met, a baby (or child) still has a need to cry.

I like to relate it to myself. When I am distraught, and feel like crying, the best thing for me to do it cry and work it out that way. Often what we do to babies, is to tell them to be quiet, by bouncing, putting a pacifier in their mouth, shushing them, telling them don't have to cry, feeding them, and the list goes on and on. If I was crying, and someone told me to be quiet, or tried to get me to stop when I really needed a good cry, I would resent it. I would not like it, and if I was not allowed to cry, those emotions would be bottled up inside.

All this said, a baby should NEVER be left to cry alone. She should be held close by and you should focus your loving attention on her as she cries. Solter's books go into much greater detail. There is good information to think about in her books. The downside is that the format isn't one that most of us are used to. It is not flashy, and it is set up in a question/answer format. There may be some information that some parents do not feel fits them (as in most books), and if you find that this is the case, then by all means, do not use those ideas!

One of the best things that this book did for me, was to help me realize that crying was not a sign of me being a "bad" parent.

Screen Time and Kids

David Walsh has done research about the linkage of brain development to screen time. Here are a few of his ideas:

• Experience shapes the brain.
• The prefrontal cortex is the last to be wired. This is located in the front of the head sort of behind the forehead. This is where we think, plan, organize, make decisions and it is the center for impulse control.
• Recent brain research shows that this particular center does not develop as soon as other parts...it refines itself about age 20.
• Combine this prefrontal cortex development with what is happening with hormone development. Hormones send messages. For boys, it is testosterone flow and for girls, estrogen. Hormones act in concert with neurotransmitters. One primary neurotransmitter is seratonin.
  
• Seratonin is a STABALIZER. Think about how hormone flow and seratonin can work together (or not) to hold a mood and actions in check.
  
• Now- overlay this with the media revolution...
  

In early 1999 video games operated on 350,000 polygons/second (Nintendo 64)
Sept 1999 - 3 million polygons per second - (Sega dreamcast)
2000 - 38 mil polygons.sec (Playstation 2)
2001 125 million polygons/sec (X Box, Game Cube)
2006 - 1 Billion polygons/sec (wii, other new games)

How does this relate to kids?
- In the US- there is an average of 4 TVs per household
- 68% of school-age children have TVs in their rooms
- 25% of babies under 2 years have TV in their bedrooms
- 58% of teens have "My space" pages
- 43% of babies under 2 years watch TV regularly
- Kids take the "Wow" factor for granted.

When asked why children under 6 are allowed this sort of TV exposure,
parents say that use of TV is convenient, keeps them busy, reduces
conflict and avoids boredom.

In Korea, their technology is a few years more advanced than in the US. They already have broadband wireless throughout their country. And they have 40 government sponsored programs for video addiction.

• Storytellers are powerful transmitters of culture and values. TV has become the storyteller in this generation. TV has become the transmitter of culture including values. And TV and video games promote these cultural values- easy, more, fast and fun. Media is taking over the lives of families.
• TV at meals is pervasive - so there is no social interaction tom reinforce family values and relate to one another, check on each other, show caring and concern for each other.
• Family members have become isolated and unconnected. Instead there is a connection to TV and to computer games or people on screens.
• The impact or media on physical health is growing. Being sedentary and the amount of screen time are predictors of overweight.
• There is a growing impact on sexual norms and behavior (sexually explicit music, images, etc).
• We are facing new challenges with addictions, cyberbullying, privacy, and safety.
  

You ask - How about Baby Einstein videos?
Dr .Welsh comments that although the content may be ok, it wires the brain to screen time and screen expectation. Same for all educational videos.

The cultural values of More, Easy, Fast and Fun erodes self-discipline. Self- discipline is a huge school predictor; twice as strong as intelligence. These values weigh against values such as competence, resilience and responsibility.

These facts relate to other concerns in our society.

• 1/3 of American School teachers are considering leaving the teaching profession. A large part of the reason is student behavior (i.e., self-discipline).
• We are severely low in qualified teachers.

Electronic entertainment is the second biggest import for the US.
So...what to make of this?

• It is not the TV. It is not the computer in an of itself. It is about the relationship.
  
• It is about parents inability to say NO. Parents indicate that their kids "have a fit" when they turn off the TV.

LimiTV, Mediawise

by Guest blogger:
Karen DeBord, Ph.D.
Professor & Extension Specialist
Child Development
North Carolina State University